Monday, March 05, 2007

A small doodle

Dear readers
just a quick note to inform yo9u as i have also done in the below blogs, there is two posts today. i explained why but just for the sake of repeating myself, there was no interent at New hope for the past week and a half hence no Blog or emails. For those of you with an eye on the calander you might be able to surmise my location. I am back, in rainy old England! a full acount of travels back and a whole six month debrief no doubt but just soi we are on the same page, my stay has finaly come to an end. i hope you are all well and i will do doubt see most of you soon! God bless
A cold Dan

Finishing up

I think i should first point out and then apologies for the fact that there are two posts today. However I have put the first one below this so the chorological order is still ok, so even though you are reading this one first, please go a bit further back and read the last one. Or on the other hand if you really cant be bothered to read two, I wouldn’t blame you…
The reason I have been so behind with my emails and Blogs is because I have been busy and sometimes absent from the New Hope scene in the closing weeks of my stay. After P7 week was the second week of the Investment years mini business course. The first week clashed with P7 week but I was able to join in with the second one. The team from North Dakota, otherwise known as the Cowboys, (see this is why you need to read the last one…) was a multi skilled team and in the afternoons of these two weeks they would teach the investment year guys their skills and also give them some business tips.
The week after was another week at the retreat centre in Gerenge. More faithful readers of the Blog may remember Gerenge was that place we went after Kumi with the last investment year. For those who don’t remember or didn’t read it, Gerenge is right on the lake even has a little beach. I'm told that the lake is a significant body of water that it actually has waves, which explained my initial confusion. The Food at Gerenge is usually excellent, most days we had fresh Tilapia from the lake. But there was another reason for going apart from swimming and eating, (although admittedly they were my personal highlights…). In Jinja there is a retreat centre for spiritually exhausted missionaries and those who want some reeducation and rest…or something like that. The week was called ‘Transformation of the heart’ and to be completely honest I found it very hard to get my head around. My problem was all the fancy pants language and jargon and terms and names for every situation under the sun.
The basic format was that we would sit down and listen for about an hour about this or that that we needed to repent for or people we needed to forgive for this and that and all the while we were peppered with intellectual words for this event and that event that may or may not have happened in your lifetime that you probably should repent for…so I found it somewhat difficult to digest. One of the things they did was forgiving your father and mother for mistreating you as a child. Now personally I got quite annoyed at this because they said even if your parents are alive and love you, then you still need to forgive them for something. I felt like I had forgiven my parents for the miniscule things that might possibly have happened and was feeling rather pleased and proud of my upbringing only to be told that my parents in fact have wounded me beyond repair and my spirit is therefore doomed. I didn’t take that too well. However, and it’s a very big however, the point of the week was the investment year students who have have horrible things done and said to them by their parents. Some have never known their father and some knew them only a few short years before he died. I was so pleased to see that even though I in my cynical English mindset I was getting nothing out of it, the guys who really mattered were doing some business with God. So although I thought the week was a bit OTT and I didn’t really get much out of it, some of the testimonies are really powerful. The students were telling stories of how after years they were able to forgive their fathers and mothers and start again with God as their parent. So even though it pains me to say it, I thin the ‘Transformation’ guys must know what they are talking about.
Swimming was also fun with a few rather stark exceptions. One day we were playing in the water when Ibra, a good friend of mine who likes to swim out as far as he can until he physically is too tired to move, then swim back, turned to me looking slightly confused and worried. This is basically how it sounded,

Ibra: Mr. Dan, (yeah I have no idea where Mr Dan came from…) something is entering me
Mr. Dan: Ok Ibra
Ibra: No, Mr. Dan, something is entering me, in my foot.
Mr. Dan: In your foot? Whatever! Show me!

(Ibra lifts his foot out of the water and points to his foot where a little brown worm about an itch long is wriggling and digging its was into his foot)
(Dan is nearly sick in the water and considers leaving his friend to be eaten by the work and run away)

Ibra: Mr. Dan, get it out! Get it out!

(Dan tries to brush off stange wormy thing but its already burrowed in too far)

Ibra: Pinch it! Pinch it!

(Dan does so and yanks the beast out, saving Ibra from what would be a rather nasty wormy death. Both Characters swim off as fast as they can)

Blackout

All those who need to run to the bathroom and throw up, be my guest
I also got to know the rocks on the bottom of the lake rather well. More then once I trod on one only to slip off cutting yet another ole in my feet. So that by the end of the week my feet looked like someone had tried to carry out surgery on my feet whilst rather drunk and working in an earthquake.
Oh yes, while were on the subject of earthquakes, this deserves a mention. A few days before Gerenge, New Hope got shaken by an earthquake. Doors slammed and the shutters crashed open and closed. Everyone was in bed at the time and woke up to feel the ground below them shift and wobble. Everyone, that is except me. By some rubbish fluke of absolute and monumental bad luck, I managed to sleep through a category 4 earthquake. For once in my life I wished I didn’t sleep like a log ever night.
Anyway another swimming event that by all stretches of the imagination was absolutely and completely rubbish was the breaking of my glasses. For six long months I have said to the children who frequently find pleasure in climbing on my face and doing their best to bash me into a fine pulp, “No! Not the glasses! They’re the only pair I have!” six long months! And though I can’t fully blame Moses because I was the one beating him up, he did play his part so, here is my attempt at passing the buck…
Moses was beating me up in the water…mercilessly. He was picking me up and throwing me and splashing water in my eyes and generally being annoying…ok this isn’t working, just making me sound like a pansy. Here’s what happened, I was beating up Moses in the water…mercilessly. I was picking him up and throwing him and slashing water in his eyes and generally being annoying, it’s good for him I'm sure. Anyway I was just thinking I should take off my glasses when Moses started attacking me (see it is his fault). I picked him up and flipped him over and then waded back to take my glasses off. I noticed the world looked a bit funny and whipped the water off the left lens but when I went to wipe it off the right…the right one wasn’t there. Pants. So I spent the next five days fumbling around like a blind man. Luckily and very much as an answer to prayer the optician in Kampala was amazing. I went in for an eye test Saturday afternoon and insisted that the glasses be ready by Monday. Looking back, giving the optician two days, one of them being a Sunday, was pretty unreasonable. And when Monday came around and they kept telling me sorry the glasses aren’t ready yet, come back in an hour, come back at four I got impatient. It was so frustrating not being able to see that I really had no patience to wait whatsoever. So when the glasses arrived last thing before we left Kampala on Monday I was overjoyed. Overall they cost me about £45, took two days to make, are perfect and also came from Nairobi. To get a pair of new glasses for that little in that amount of time in the UK is unheard of so I was very thankful to God for helping things along.
So as I write this on Friday, my last Friday. In the time it has taken me to write this Blog the Wireless internet has been set up and is officially online. I haven’t tested it yet still it’s rather exciting. I planned to write a kind of debrief looking back type thing about my stay but since there have been two posts today I think I will leave it there and continue to write when I am back in nice cold England. I fly Monday morning and I have very mixed feelings about going. Everything has kind of ground to a halt. I haven’t been doing much since Gerenge except packing up and saying goodbye to my friends which I doubt will ever be easy. I am of course looking forward to seeing family again and various luxuries we take for granted like clean running water but I will write more about all this when I'm back.
Although it seems very bizarre to say this, see you soon!
Mr. Dan

Cowboys and Englishmen

When my grandparents warned me in mid January that New Hope is like a holiday camp in February, I couldn’t imagine how right they would be. Sandi, the lady who coordinates all the teams comings, goings, eatings, sleepings, restings workings and playings, has been rushed off her feet trying to keep everyone happy, fed and busy. There have been two teams that really stick out in my mind as the title suggests, so with as little offence caused as possible I would like to share a few things that make me chuckle about these teams.
The first two weeks of February was devoted to a mammoth team of over twenty heroes from North Dakota that I cam e to lovingly think of in my head as the Cowboys. The name wasn’t particularly hard to come by. Every male on the team without exception would never be seen without utility belt on, big leather boots laced and buckled, sunglasses donned, mustaches combed, faded jeans on and uncomfortably tight allowing little or no ventilation whatsoever, flannel shirts on and missing the top two buttons, all important cowboy hat placed lovingly the appropriate distance above the eyes and essential gum placed between the teeth and being chewed al-la cud. And of course when all the gear was in place they would strut around New Hope campus in packs, nodding to those they passed and talking business, business, business.
The women on the team, about a quarter of the total population spent the days walking with the children holding hands and doing sewing and cake decorating lessons. One of the men on the team, Sid the snake man (your guess is as good as mine) somehow got pneumonia half way through the week. Now I realize this isn’t the first time I have bragged my medical layman status but pneumonia? Pneumonia? I was under the impression that you get pneumonia in countries like oh I don’t know, Antarctica not on the equator…However the mysterious pneumonia case only helped to cement my lasting memory of the Cowboys into place and that is this…the Cowboys can achieve anything.
And I mean absolutely anything, the pneumonia in sub-Saharan Africa is living proof. When the team arrived in the night is was like a rumor. No one was quite sure if they were here or not and if they really were here, what do they look like? Did they bring those silly hats again this year? We all discovered the very next morning that yes they did bring those silly hats again this year and oh by the way, these guys are here to work. It just so happens that the first week of the Cowboys stay coincided with P7 week so a few mornings I was up at stupid o’clock organizing this and that. Even on the stupid morning when my job was to run around all the family groups in the pouring rain with the mega phone, even when Steve and I got up before the sun to spread clues for a treasure hunt, even when I was just finishing my morning tea and getting ready to go, the Cowboys were hard at work.
Allow me to explain a little. The Cowboys came out with the express purpose of saving the world one car engine, one fencing post and one sewing lesson at a time. However, though they did ultimately fail to save the world in two weeks they worked extraordinarily hard from the crack of dawn until after the sun went down and achieved an astounding amount. On guy, named Parker (Yes, Steve and I pummeled him with Jokes, all English one about driving pink limousines and being too nosey for his own good, none of which he actually got…but we thought we were hilarious) had the job of building a barbed wire fence all around the New Hope land. For any who have had the privilege of going to New Hope will know, that’s not exactly a small task. With not very much help at all this one guy constructed this fence that covers about five sixths of the Perimeter. Other achievements including building a set of swing and a roundabout completely from scratch, fixing untold amounts of cars, and all the while teaching the investment year students things like welding, design, business skills, workmanship as well as things like sewing and music. So even though it was great fun on my part to have a giggle about these Cowboys I cant help but admire their hard work and commitment. Straight after the Cowboys and bang on my Two weeks to go mark, the Englishmen arrived.
Now I am never one to judge on appearances (or at least I hope I'm not), but the second I clapped my eyes on someone from the English team, I could tell his nationality. Again I think it all comes down to the hat. Instead of the broad rimmed and insane combination of hills, dents, curves and ribbons that is the Cowboy hat, the English team (all men) were all sporting those little floppy hats that barely cast an inch of shade your granddad wears on the beach. You know the kind I mean because every self respecting British man owns one (I even do but I left it at home in favor of a slightly more cowboy-esk number but without that ridiculous dent at the top…anyway). They also, instead of wearing jeans and shirts out of pride and a will to wear a complete outfit like the Cowboys, wore much more sensible shorts, tee-shirts and those wonderful sandals every Christian male over a certain age owns. Add to that the wonderfully lily white skin only a true British gloomy winter can produce, all in all they looked like proper Brit folk. But as if that isn’t enough, as if the conglomeration of all the aforementioned factors didn’t add up to some serious UK citizens, the first day was spent with most members of the team slumped in the sun and I actually heard one say, “Cor, Blimey, it ain’t half hot…” I rest my case.
Anyway this team specializes in electrics. Apart from the odd job here and there fixing water pumps and rewiring the odd house, there main job, and I still cant really believe I'm about to write this, has been setting up a wireless internet system in New Hope…there I said it.
For those who don’t get my utter amazement, a brief explanation. At New Hope the internet is slow and sometimes isn’t at all...in fact there is no internet whatsoever at the moment as the server physically blew up yesterday. We have power every night at certain times when the generator is on…except not at the moment because the generator packs out the moment night falls around here…most annoying and no one seems to know why. On top of this if you do happen to catch the internet when the server hasn’t exploded and the power happens to be on by some miracle the connection can be painfully slow. Add to this the minor fact that New Hope, though very comfortable and developed for Uganda, is in THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! ...Wireless internet seems so utterly out of place that it’s comical. Still, you wont here me complaining and I'm sure none of the other muzungus either.
Anyway the back of the office building now looks like some kind of World War two, behind enemy lines communications centre. There are two massive solar panels elevated eight feet off the ground, a satellite dish (I'm told though that its not big enough so an even bigger one is coming tomorrow…good grief…) a grand total of thirty-two massive batteries that live in what looks like a very secure bomb shelter underground as well as enough wiring to strangle a blue whale three times with wire to spare. I tried carrying one of the batteries…I didn’t know the universe could sustain things that phenomenally heavy.
Anyway as I was saying about the teams… Both teams have come and worked very hard and I applaud them both for this, however I think its only fair that after what is now a two page comparison on the teams I should announce which team I prefer. Now this isn’t a difficult question. Even if you suspend my patriotism, even if you forget the fact the Yankees looked so funny, even if you keep in mind how hard the Americans worked and what an amazing difference they have made to life at New Hope…its still an easy decision. The UK team wins not because they are English, not because they worked harder, not because they decided not to come in fancy dress but rather because through this team I have gained a grand total of three, count them, three bars of galaxy chocolate bars from relatives. Sorry Americans, you worked the hardest but at the end of the day, you didn’t stand a chance.
So on that rather prejudice and slightly unfair note I will sign off. I am also aware that since I have not written for so long there is a whole new post to write and after reading this I hope you feel obligated to read the other. I will do my best to make it funny, though no promises. A final apology to any Americans reading if you were offended, I love you all really, and a very big thank you to Grandma, Grandpa, Aunty Alison and the Casebow clan for the chocolate, I think I have one cube left but I'm not sure…
Daniel

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

P7 Week

I think I should start this Blog by apologizing for the lack of online communicating for a good week and a half. You can rest assured I have spent the time so busy I literally haven’t had the time to stop and think let alone put those thoughts down in some semblance of order and reason. I write this on a scorching hot Saturday afternoon. Steve and I are being very antisocial and boring, both of us on our computers inside to avoid the unbearable heat. I have had numerous mentions all through this week of how this much and that much snow has fallen here and there, how snow perfect for this and that has graced the earth back home and have more then once dreamt of perhaps one cold day in a break from this apparently unrelenting heat. I am currently typing with one hand as the other hand is in use by my little friend Silas sitting just to my left on the sofa. Silas the 6 month old chap is chewing my thumb whilst squeezing my fingers. Silas usually joins the Browns and I for the weekend and I look forward to his stays all week. I remember when Silas first arrived at New Hope, barely weeks into my own stay. He was just then newly born and newly abandoned by his mother. Like most new babies out here Silas was tiny when he was born. He came to us looking like a little shriveled black version of the big fat white babies that grace the British Isles. He was one of those babies you could easy hold in one hand, he was that small. I remember Aunty Robin, the lady who does an amazing job of running the baby house, saying at the time that she couldn’t decide if he was cute or not. I certainly decided he wasn’t. He was a little wrinkly thing the squirmed and smelt and had little wisps oh hair here and there and besides I'm an 18 year old bloke, what do I care about babies? The little screamers hate me anyway. Well that has slowly changed.
The Baby House staff has done its usual job of taking a skinny, tiny baby and turning it into a miniature black Michelin man in under 3 months. Lo and Behold before long Silas was looking less like an over-large raisin and more like a baby. Now, 5 months into his life at New Hope, Silas has a full head of curly hair, a nice big belly due to regular goat’s milk feeds and he has just started giggling. There is now no denying that Silas is a cute baby. Silas has popped up in my own New Hope life here and there and every time we meet we have got to know each other a little better. Now I am living at the Browns Silas come over every weekend and we get to hang out as much as we like.
I realize I have just spent time on what was meant to be a quick opening comment about my little Pal Silas cooing over this little chap and sounding more like a teenage girl then anything else but hopefully that is some indication of how much this little guys made an impression on me. Any suggestions on smuggling him back into the country are most welcome…
Anyway Steve and I have a good reason for being so antisocial and doing something so unbelievably lazy on such a sunny day, we are both exhausted. Last week was P7 week and to say the week was full on is an understatement. Each morning I woke up at about 7:30, not all that early I know but after a few days of constant physical expenditure 7:30 feels like 3:30. We would then make our way up to the secondary site where a growing mass of children between the ages of 12 and 15 were waiting to begin that days mayhem. The reason behind P7 week is something along the lines of the very first P7 class feeling discouraged and doubting the skills of their teachers and quality of their education. In those early days when New hope was very new in the area and certainly one of the only places to find a white face there was a lot of skepticism (and still is) about these muzungus and exactly what their motives were. Some said the white man had come to eat their children, other said that the American family had arrived to take away the children and make them slaves in the USA, an unfortunate rumor not exactly aided by the fact that New Hope promotes a hard work ethic and part of the education offered includes hours of work in the fields teaching self sufficiency. While these first kids where pleased to receive an education in the first place there was no denying that New Hope was not the same as the other schools in the area. Instead of a vigorous study, study, study regime the teachers and staff taught other things including agriculture, Bible stories and could often be heard singing with the children. So when then first class reached P7, the year of the first big Exam, the PLE, no one, not even the students expected to succeed.
As the Day of the exam drew nearer the students became more and more depressed and lost all hope in ever passing the exam because of this bizarre education they had received from these whites, or so the people in the village would tell them. Something had to be done and the conclusion reached must have made all those who doubted the abilities of the staff at New Hope roll their eyes to the sky and say, “here they go again”. They decided to take a week out from studying and classes to spend time having fun, playing games, praying and reassuring the kids that God has the situation in his hands. The kids had a great time but once the exams arrived and were sent off for marking, hope again failed those who had taken it. They waited for the results and when they finally came Uncle Jonnes read out the results to the P7 class that had gathered around him. None had failed, in fact the whole class had done exceptionally well, P7 week was hailed a success and adopted as an annual tradition for incoming P7s.
The responsibility of organizing and running P7 week fell to Steve Brown and I was soon brought in to lend a hand. All in all Steve and I make a good team. We spent days before the event plotting and planning evil schemes and horribly impossible games and challenges no human being would ever be able to accomplish no matter how hard he tried, but it would still be great fun to watch him have a go. Most nights we would sit with cups of tea to stay awake planning the changes and games for the next day, discussing teams and team members, who we thought would win and what nasty little surprises we could plan for the next day, until finally our eye lids got the better of us and we were forced to stop planning and leave the rest to chance.
Origination has never been my, and neither has it been Steve’s, strongest suit. I often joke with Katharine Brown that I'm incapable of leaving a house with everything I need for a certain trip the first time and frequently arrive mere seconds after I have left only to say, “Only me, yes I know I forgot something again…” (This may happen three or four times…how I with that was a joke) Steve is no better. We would often walk up to the senior site where the week was being held when a look of confusion would cross Steve’s face. “What?” I would ask. “Siren challenge” he would say in return (the siren challenge was my idea, and a particularly evil one that was great fun. We have a Megaphone that has a Siren setting on it. When the siren sounds the teams must all do a silly and humiliating stunt specified at the beginning of the day before the other teams) “Ok” I would say, “did you bring the Megaphone?”, “no did you?”, “no did you?”, “no, ah well…could you go and get that then?”, “Sure”. So off I would ride almost every day about three times each morning to retrieve whatever it was we had forgotten for the next game.
Some of the games we played where old favorites like egg and spoon races, others were New Hope tradition like a game called Keys to the Kingdom. I have to admit when the concept was explained to me I had to hold myself back from laughing at it. Although the sentiment behind it is good, it did sound a bit cheesy. The idea is the “saints” (the players) must get from A to B, A being base where they have a list of Bible verses and a Bible, B being the place where one runs to obtain a Key. To get a key you must look up the verses in the Bible, decide what category of verse it fits under then run to the Key place and tell it to the Key keepers and if you get three right you get a key to return to your base. First team to get five keys wins, Gee-Whiz. There is however a twist. Between point A and point B, a Point I will call C for confusions sake, there are Demons. I know what your thinking, this sounds interesting, it only gets better. The demons are there to lie to the saints as they run and try to tag them and send them to jail for two minutes. If a Demon approaches a saint the saint must get down on their knees and pray for deliverance, in which case the demon in powerless to send them to jail but can guard and taunt the saints all he wants. (As a side thought it was rather amusing as on the day we were short on demons so I went around New Hope asking people if they would mind being a demon for half an hour. I reassured one muzungu couple that gave me a very strange look that I thought of them first when told to go get some demons, surprisingly they were up for the idea though they have never looked at me the same way again for some reason…) Anyway at the beginning of the game Jennie Dangers Explained the rules to everyone and said that they need to listen as the demons can make up new rules to tell the saints in order to get them in jail, she said they don’t have to listen to the demons and can just stay put. However the amount of people I sent to jail because I managed to convince them they were breaking the rules by, for example, not looking me in the eyes when I spoke to them, not being no your knees enough, not being allowed to hold a key and be on their knees, the fact that I did in fact tag them before they hit the ground, the fact that another team just won so were all getting together over there…you get the picture, I was mean but I make no apologies, they should have listened better! Overall it was a pretty cool game but hearing it the first time and hearing about saints and demons and praying for deliverance down on your knees and keys that unlock the knowledge that bring about a good Christian life…you get the idea.
Apart from these games we also invented some games. I invented an egg relay whereas everyone starts with an egg in hand and must run to a certain point and back with egg before depositing it to the next person in line who now repeats the run with two eggs giving both to the next person who runs with three and so on. We invented numerous water games, each as bizarre and impossible as the last and the siren challenge seemed to grow in weirdness by the day. There is an old Myth that Red team always wins and they would have done this year if it hadn’t been for the late rule. We doled out points by the thousand, fifty thousand points for this 5 thousand for that and for every minute that a team member was late they would loose the team one thousand points. So on the last day when Red team was ahead by a fraction from the Yellows they weren’t pleased when three members showed up twelve minute late, loosing them a grand total of thirty six thousand points. And meaning yellows eventually won by two thousand points with a score of one million, two hundred and twenty eight thousand points.
There was also some really awesome teaching over the course of the week, teaching on purity and sexual health as well as relying on God and trusting in Him. There was a few interesting opinions we helped to dispel in the group including that if you have sex in water there is no way you can catch AIDS or get pregnant or that if a girl is not circumcised it means she can never have children but if she gets a circumcision she stands a chance on conceiving. That is to just mention two of the things I heard, and to be honest it scared me that there was so much dangerously wrong information out there that is treated like the Bible truth.
I really enjoyed the week but I would have to wait a while before I did anything like it, just to get my energy back. Writing this Entry in itself has taken me three days because my mind still hasn’t woken up and it has been stupidly hot. I think I should leave it there but finally mention that three weeks today I will on a plane heading home. A humbling thought that I only have three weeks left but still have to wait a whole three weeks fore seeing my family again, it’s a complicated emotion! I hope you are all well and I enjoy getting all the emails being sent. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Uncle Dan

Monday, January 22, 2007

Public

Of all the traffic that fills up and wears down the roads of Uganda, the most commonly seen are those vehicles that fall under the title, ‘Public’. Public, an obvious abbreviation of public transport, is the same sort of thing as it is in the UK, cheap transport of varying reliability. The most common mode of public transport is known as either a Taxi, a Mitatu or, as my family likes to call them, a Death Bus. These 14 seat minibuses, in my experience, can be seen all over Africa and there seems to be an endless supply in Uganda. If in Kampala and in a traffic Jam (Traffic out here makes me long for UK traffic. Just the thought of sitting in a comfortable, cool, car going nowhere and surrounded by people growing angrier by the second on the M25 sounds favorable next to sitting in the unbearable humidity, going nowhere, being covered in dust and surrounded by honking and shouting people in and out of the car…) you can be sure that most vehicles are Mitatus. There are other busses on the roads apart from the Death busses. Although I don’t know the official or local name for them I call them, ’Baby Giants’ because, as if some desperately silly person was having a shot at irony, these huge monsters all seem to have the words, Baby and Giant written somewhere on them. The Baby Giants (more like full giants, baby being the last word I would use) seem much taller, longer and somehow much faster then the sluggish coaches in the UK. Perhaps the coaches back home never get to top speed or perhaps the Baby Giants do and once reaching said speed are reluctant to let it go. The result is a massive formidable looking coach tearing down a pothole ridden road at what must be near 100 mph dodging and swaying dangerously. I can’t figure out why we don’t call those, ‘Death Busses’ but perhaps it’s because no one who has ever embarked on a journey on a Baby Giant has ever lived to see their destination and thus tell others of the horror. There is one more mode of transport that hardly fits in the category of Public but in my view more than merits a mention.
A Boda Boda is a motor bike designed to carry one or two passengers on the back. Or maybe even three. Four if your good friends with the other three. Five if you’re not a fan of comfort. I have never seen five to a Boda but I have no doubt it happens every day. Perhaps you need to move your bed all in one piece, perhaps take a sack or six to market, maybe your bike has broken down and you need a lift to the nearest shop, on a Boda anything is possible. I once took a Boda to Luweru to get some money out of a cash machine (the strangest thing in the world is a cash machine in the middle of the African countryside). My friend Fred drove me and before long I was convinced that if you can ride it without doing acrobatics off into the bush, a Boda is an awesome way to get around. This week saw my very first trip on pubic when I went to Kampala. I used two out of the three modes mentioned above because I have solemnly vowed that I will only get on a Baby Giant when I no longer value my life and wish for it to come to a very painful, very uncomfortable end.
At 8:30 am exactly I left the house to walk the short walk to Kiwoko, the nearest town. At 8:32 am exactly I left the house again with my hat, which I forgot. While I walked I listened to my MP3 player, a little device that has been used so much during my little excursions into the bush that I am beginning wondering what on earth I would do without it. Wouldn’t be riding the death busses alone today, Uncle Christopher who drives the tractor on Dave’s farm would be coming with me. I was perfectly happy to embark on this little adventure solo but I was running an errand for Dave which required me to withdraw a large amount of cash from a Forex and give some to Christopher to buy tractor parts. I met Uncle Chris (as I have not, and never will call him as he is far to serious) at the Kiwoko Crossroads and we went to catch a Boda Boda to Luweru. When I went to Luweru with Fred it was under the pretense of giving him some practice, he aspired to being a Boda driver as it is an easy fast income. I really did need to go but also Fred needed the extra cash so I asked for a lift. Apparently he really does need the practice. The Boda I took with Uncle C was much faster and much smoother. You hear of horror stories about Boda’s crashing head long into Death busses and Baby Giants and as we tore towards Luweru a Baby Giant flew passed us swaying uncontrollably and pulling the Boda a good meter off course …but I wont say that in case my mother or Aunty Alison is reading.
We arrived in Luweru and got the usual, “oh look, a Muzungu” stares from just about everyone before reaching the Kasana town bus stop. (Luweru is divided into Luweru town and Kasana town. Bizarrely Kasana, where New Hope supposedly is, is located on the far side of Luweru town. Well that doesn’t seem quite so bizarre now I’ve put it in type but it struck me as odd at the time. Anyway…) We eventually got on a death bus headed for Kampala with a large crack in the windshield and as the bus stopped every twenty five meters or so to pick up more passengers, the buss got more and more crowded. As I mentioned earlier the busses have 14 seats, there is even a little sign on the side of each that reads, “Licensed to carry 14 passengers” though it seems like more of a ball park figure then a rule set in stone. By the time we reached Wobelensi there was over 20 of us on board. I'm not sure of the exact figure because there was at least two to every seat and quite a few laps were occupied. The bus stopped in Wobelensi because apparently the driver didn’t have any faith in its ability to reach Kampala. We boarded another one with yet more cracks in the windshield and pelted off again to Kampala.
When we finally reached Kampala and I strove to find a landmark I recognized. We reached the bus depot and our bus was swallowed into the great and swarming mass that was hundreds upon hundreds of minibuses trying to find a way and in and, once there, a way back out again. Our bus finally got stuck and stopped somewhere in the middle of this epic Jam and we disembarked. We made our way to Kampala road, as you can guess from the name it’s the main, and therefore most busy, road in Kampala. I asked Uncle Christopher if he knew where the Forex was, he confessed he didn’t but seemed quite content to walk around this insanely busy section of the capitol risking life and limb trying to find it. Finally I insisted we get a Boda and a few roads later we found ourselves at the Forex. The rest of the day passed without major event, Christopher and I went our separate ways and I took a Boda to Garden City where, greatly to my dismay, I found there is still enough Christmas chocolate on the shelves to give you a headache.
I am at the moment sitting in my bedroom at the Browns house. I spent the last week sleeping on the Clays sofa. Not altogether uncomfortable but it did mean I was rudely awakened every morning by whichever child reached me first. It has also been a busy week at the clinic. I have had plenty of blood, puss and gore to work my way through and just this morning actually taught the nurse how to give a malaria test. She had been giving out injections for malaria to every Tom, Dick and Harry with a fever without checking for malaria. I told her I knew roughly how to do them having watched Uncle Roger do one once. Apparently that was more then she has ever seen so it was my job to teach her. The patient was a little boy with high fever. I had to prick the poor little kids finger three times before I could get enough blood for the test which finally came out negative. All that stabbing for nothing but at least I saved him an injection in the rear.
Next week in envisioning and I am back at the clays and on duty in the mornings. Aunty Katharine who has been here just over a week now is settling in well but still might need me around to play bad cop with certain children if need be.
I hope you all have a good week and sorry it has taken so long to get this posted, hopefully I will be able to access the internet easier now it’s just around the corner. God bless,
Dr Dan

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

What Dan did Next...

Its strikes me as slightly strange that as I write this entry I am approaching my 4 month anniversary away from home and in this foreign land. In many ways it feels like I have reached the home stretch of what has been an experience that has challenged and changed me in many ways. It has been a time when all the things I ‘know’ have been shaken and tested. When my faith has sometimes been all I have to hold onto and my family has been a real tower of strength with me…
But after all that talk of finality and things coming to an end I still have two months to go. And it seems to me that those two months are going to be the busiest, though you wont here me complaining. The end of January holds a week long event called ‘Envisioning’. As far as I can tell Envisioning week is a week where you have meetings all day long full or worship and talks aimed at the vision and mission of new hope. In other words it’s a week of extra long church. Church out here is usually a rather entertaining event, I have learned to love the worship, lack of African drum and cranked up presence of the cheesy keyboard not withstanding. The enthusiasm, passion and simplicity of the songs is rather contagious and I have been found clapping and dancing like a moron on a few occasions. A week of that however is not a particularly comfortable thought. A few rumbling of Dan reassuming his child care duties during the event have been heard and I can’t say I'm upset about the thought. The Clay children however will soon have another climbing poll, punch bag, insult tester, lunch server and baby sitter.
As of the tenth of January the guest house key will change hands, with only a slight…ok with a large amount of regret from yours truly. Aunty Katharine will be the new resident and as a result I will be moving into a room with Jed and Moses. As you can imagine I wasn’t amazingly joyous about the prospect of spending my final two months with no sleep or privacy to speak of. Therefore when the Browns offered for me to move into their spare room for the remainder of my stay I accepted. I don’t look forward to moving out of the Clays house and off the farm at all. I have made many friends with the guys who work on and around the farm as well as growing closer to Dave and Raych in the past months.
Moving up to New Hope makes sense from another angle though as I will be working with Steve Brown. The week after Envisioning is known as ‘P7 week’. P7 week is a way of welcoming the Kids in the school into their last year of primary (hence the P) school before their first year of secondary (S1, S2, S3 and so on). The week consists of games, talks and various silly team style activities designed to gel the group together for their final year of primary school.
After that I will be involved in a larger way with the Investment year. In early to mid February the investment year are having a two week long vocational course teaching them the basics of all sorts of trades as long as a little about the business world. Steve will be organizing a lot of this and I hope to be a big part of that as well. In between all that activity I will be doing work at the Clinic. New hope is mean to slowly repopulate over then next week and we are expecting people to come back with plenty of malaria. Plenty of ‘customers’ as Uncle Roger calls them.
Christmas out here was really fun. I woke up on the big day with the sun shining outside and a nice stack of presents awaiting me. My little stash of sweets and goodies grew considerably that day so you wont here me complaining. We went off to church at ten and I was surprised and impressed to be met with carols. I must confess I didn’t sing any because I was too busy trying to contain myself. A personal favorite was, ‘Oh come all ye faithful’ sang twice as fast and twice as high. Church was followed but a brief visit to the Browns which was flooded with presents from those back home supporting the family on their first Christmas away. We then had Christmas dinner. If I had it my way I would have had turkey with as many trimmings as you can imagine and more with a glass of wine in hand, a cracker in the other and a stupid hat on my head surrounded by family. What I got was Matoke, Chicken, Pork, Beef, Chapatti, watermelon, a Coke and a sill hat I found in Kampala on my head. But I was surrounded my family and upon reflection although it wasn’t Christmas at home, it still was pretty good.
The last few days my roommate Peter (spending his holidays with us) and I have been doing various odd jobs around the house. And when I say odd, I mean odd. This morning we replaced a section of the tin roof, yesterday I painted the guest house, on new years day I cleared out a kind of overhead storage area with enough bat poo to fertilize a small farm but the most fun was playing Rat Busters.
Over the past few weeks we have become aware that we are not alone in the house. On Christmas Eve I was on the verge of saying, “T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house…”when a small mouse ran from the cover of the sofa to the book shelf. After that there were many creatures (mainly the pink two legged variety) stirring (and screaming) around the house trying to get the new visitor out. Raych and I finally mad a run for it out of cushions, opened the door and banged around until the little fella scampered out. We then went to Entebbe for a quick Christmas break (great food, average weather and swimming every day) only to return to the news that Peter had killed a rat the day before. So when Peter and I were told the clear out the kitchen because there might be a rat there, we pretty much knew what was coming before it jumped off the top shelf landed on my shoulder, climbed down my back, landed on my foot and ran into the parent’s bedroom. Big mummy Rat was hiding on the top shelf behind a Jerry can and after a solid ten minutes of Battle in the bedroom, Peter and I finally emerged triumphant with a big rat still alive but stunned swinging from its tail. The rat was taken outside, placed on a wooden block and made very close friends with a Panga…you may be wondering why I called it Mummy Rat. Well it wasn’t a slip of the finger. Apparently in our absence Mummy rat found a home in the kitchen, had babies, met peter and I and was no more. The babies however met their end when their mother’s choice of home fell slightly short. Raych decided to make some good old British scones and upon lighting up the oven some rather pained squeaks met our ears. The three baby rats were found in the bottom of the oven, slightly toasted and mostly dead… (I put one out of its misery). All the Rats now gone we all slept a little sounder.
Until three in the morning when Daddy rat came to check on the family but got lost…in Dave and Raych’s room. This time Dave had a 30 minute battle on his own, emerging the victor…for now. We are now confident all the Rats have gone. So no doubt I will be finding, hunting and killing more in the not to distant future.
I write this on the third which means I have only a week left in the guest house. I will be very sad to move out but I hopefully move on to bigger and better things. Until I write again I hope you’re all well and nicely rounded after the holidays. I look forward to seeing you all again in March. Take care,
Uncle Dan

Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas, and all that Jazz

Here as promised is my final post before Christmas sneaks up on us like a thief in the night. Or at least it’s snuck up on me. All the usual signposts and landmarks of Christmas have been absent this year so when I think that Christmas Day is just the other side of the weekend; it makes my brain a little numb. For example I think I have worn a jumper in the past month a grand total of twice. Wrapping up warm and turning the central heating up a notch seems like a farcical joke out here in the ‘Dry’ season. I say ‘Dry’ because this is still the wettest month of my stay so far. An African friend of mine remarked that this is the month the Muzungu’s usually start melting, but no such luck yet. There has not been any kind of run up to the big day either. No supermarkets racing to be the first to put up the tinsel the earliest in October, no awful Christmas music (and no good stuff either) and most importantly, no shopping!
Shopping is not what I would describe as a pet hate, but it’s certainly something I would rather avoid. Besides, Shopping defiantly falls into the realm of women’s work (I say that without fear of sexism because I'm pretty sure every female I know would be happy to agree with me). Anyway it managed to reach the 20th of December without buying so much as a bauble when all of a sudden, shopping hit me with a vengeance.
The Browns kindly agreed to take me along with them to go Christmas shopping early in the week. Before I continue one of my now world famous Uganda explanations is needed… In Kampala there are one or two pockets of large shops I like to call Muzungu Land. The Largest one is called Garden City which could quite easily fit in back home. At shopping centers you can buy nearly anything that you could get at home…at a price. The names Shoprite, Game and Uchumi will ring some bells with a few and fail to ring anything with others, they are though the names of the three biggest supermarket chains in Uganda at the moment. A supermarket out here is different in a few subtle ways to your average Tesco. Firstly there is less selection. In an average square meter in any British supermarket you might find anywhere between 10 and 20 products give or take. Down one isle in Uchumi I once counted a grand total of two products. Ketchup, and spicy Ketchup (all the same brand and the ends of the isle was also occupied by ketchup, only in larger or smaller bottles.) The other difference is pricing. In my limited experience the prices are either way cheaper then UK or miles more expensive and its sometimes hard to tell the difference when dividing each price by 3200 shillings to find one pound. One small bottle of shampoo I ended up buying cost something like, 14,620 UGSH. When met with so many numbers I wrongly assumed it was reasonable and couldn’t be bothered to divide the price roughly by the three and knock off some zeros. When I checked the price later and did the maths I was quite annoyed I paid so much for such a small bottle. I use the Shampoo little bit by very little bit.
During the Christmas season Uchumi imported some British Chocolate for all the homesick Muzungus. (you can buy Cadburys chocolate out here but it has wax in to stop it melting and tastes horrible) I was quite excited about visiting the chocolate isle until I got there and almost passed out. The isle was full to bursting and looked just like a British supermarket shelf. Far too much choice. The amount on offer was so difficult to take in I had to leave the isle and revisit it what must have been close to 20 times before finally leaving with a purchase. (I decided it would be a crime not to buy something so settles for an obscenely giant Yorkie bar and some Fruit Pastels, all horribly over-priced, otherwise I could have bought a whole lot more.)
The whole trip turned out to be a little stressful as I slowly worked my way though the seven members of the clay family trying to buy them all a gift. To my mind that had been out of normal action and in full on Africa mode for the last three and a half months or so, shopping was a challenge that gave me a headache. But all the presents are now bought and I am ready for the big day. I returned home yesterday to find someone had gone through my room and take a few things. Mostly it was chocolate sent out by my grandparents and friends but also a CD with films on was taken for some reason. I can’t think why they would take that and leave a laptop and I will try my hardest to find out who has been sneaking around the guest house after the door has been locked.
Tomorrow is Saturday and the day of the British Christmas dinner. All the Brits who haven’t flown home (as I would have loved to do) for the occasion are getting together to eat a Christmas dinner and do Christmassy things to make being away from home a little easier. I don’t think the event will do much to alleviate my homesickness because for me the food and the presents are great but what I will really miss is the family. This will be my first Christmas away from my Mum, Dad, Sisters and of course Dog not to mention Grandmas and Grandpa, Uncles, Aunties and Cousins. All in all I am not looking forward to Christmas for that very reason. I look forward though to speaking to a chunk of the Casebow family on Christmas day.
My battery is fast running out and I need to trek over to New Hope to post this so I will wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New year. A Very Big think you to those who sent presents, I wasn’t expecting any so those received where very welcome. God bless and stay in touch, Love
Dan

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bits and Bobs

It struck me today that due to my being away for vast periods of time and also my forgetful brain I have missed out some events from the past month or so that really deserve a mention. I hope to write and publish one more Blog before Christmas but before I do I feel a few holes need to be filled.
Dave and Raych both finished the institute and have therefore both been home all day every day. This has opened up my whole day to doing whatever I please. However the first few weeks without institute Dave and Raych found themselves to and fro-ing from Kampala almost every other day so I was on call to do babysitting if needed. Then came the epic adventure in Kumi but now I am back and Dave has been around every day I am again without a job. When I came out here I came with the idea of filling a hole that needed filling. Although I was reassured by Raych that my being around was helpful to her I felt slightly on the useless side, and felt like I still hadn’t found my niche. Earlier this week Dave told me that help was needed at the Clinic and I should talk to Uncle Roger, this I did and as I write this I have just returned form my first day employed at the clinic.
I was told to come to clinic at 9 am of Friday. I was 15 minutes late because on the bike ride over a man stopped me and wanted my life story, my families life story, he wanted my opinion of Africa, he game he his opinion of white people, ran through a large list of names and wondered if I knew them, talked about a girl called Hannah, did I know her? I considered telling this man that I had never met a Hannah in my life so I could be on my way and not late but I reluctantly told the truth that yes, Hannah is my sister. The man practically exploded. A stood there for a further five minutes as he told me all about my sister like I had never met her myself and asked when she’s coming back, is she coming back? When? What’s she doing now? Will she come back? When? And on and on… The British man inside me told me stay and chat to this kind fellow who knows my sister but the same Brit also talk me I was going to be late for my first day at work, and this simply wouldn’t do! I finally managed to wriggle away and pelt it over to New hope at high speed. I arrived to find the clinic locked and bolted. I waited a further half an hour until a lady came up and opened up explaining Uncle Roger is ill. I was given a whistle stop tour of the clinic trying to translate the American medical terms to something I might recognize. After mentally scrambling my way through ‘Band aids’ (I thought that was a music festival but never mind…) I was left to wonder what on earth I, I complete medical layman was going to do in a clinic for goodness sake! I remembered my mission statement of filling a hole that needed filling and minutes later a few holes walked in.
The first patient just needed meds and, speaking little to no Luganda, that was the job of the nurse, that patient however was followed by a guy with a larger plaster on his toe. The nurse gave me a casual look and, being fully aware of how I know nothing about medicine said, “can you redress his wound?” “Of course” is the reply.
I invited my first patient in and asked him to sit on the bed. The doctor will see you now. I found some gloves and made a complete hash of putting them on. The kid seemed unfazed by my stumbling at the first hurdle and presented me with a second. He whipped off his bandage and displayed a big toe with basically no toenail to speak of. For your information toenails and nails in general make my skin crawl. I realize if I'm going to be of any use in this clinic I need to get over the gore. I did, and did what I think was pretty good job of redressing his toe. I discharged my patient only to find another one waiting. This guy had an even gorier wound on his index finger, almost making a circumference. But fingers I can handle so I found some ‘gauze’ and wrapped it up like a true doc. The rest of the morning passed without any more patients for me, but plenty for the nurse. We ended the day at noon because of the slow traffic of walking wounded and I came home to write this. All in all not a bad first day I think. Raych is convinced I will catch the nursing bug and, like Hannah, jet off to university and make everyone proud. I'm not so sure but I'm ruling nothing out!
Going back (a lot) to the institute ending, another unfortunate effect of that was Scott going home. Scott was a 22 year old guy from somewhere in America that sounds like everywhere else in America. None the less in the weeks before his departure we had become friends and were just starting to really get along well when he went home having finished the institute. I was really upset to see him go, him being the only other single Muzungu guy on campus remotely near my age. His parting words to me were, “Catch you on the flip side” whatever that means. I gave him a look like he was from another planet and said, “Ok”, completely missing that particular Americanism. Why can’t they speak English for goodness sake!
This week I have been working with Aunty Jo on a Christmas production to show the parents of her little troupe. My challenge was to get a group of kids from the ages of 5-8 doing something dramatic. I toyed with the idea of doing ‘Les Mis.’ , ‘A Midsummer Nights Dream’ or ‘a Christmas Carol’ but with only a week to rehearse I decided against it. Plus the kids wanted to do something as Knights. We therefore worked together to write a play that I'm sure Andrew Lloyd Webber will be gagging to get his hands on called, “The Christmas Chocolate has been Stolen”. The play features Queen Josephine who has had her Chocolate stolen and has enlisted the help of the four bravest Knights in all the land to help her find it, along with me as Narrator. As I turns out I-done-it, and they play was a great success with the parents.
Anyway Christmas is just around the corner. A big thank you to those who have sent out presents, I have a slowly growing pile in my room I am keeping away from prying eyes and hands! I keep waiting for the weather to cool down and the first frost to come, but I think at this rate the chance of me wearing a jumper on the 25th would be a fine thing. Take care,
Dan

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Kumi

The past two weeks or so since my last communication with you all via this online masterpiece has been filled with all sorts of juicy and interesting things happening and a lot of the time I was thinking how much I couldn’t wait to write about this on my Blog so all those a home can share in this. For those of you not informed I spent a week beginning on Saturday the 25th of November through to Friday the 1st of December in a place called Kumi. Kumi, or more specifically Kobwin (Forgive the spelling if you are better informed than I), is the site for what I have affectionately come to call ‘New Hope 2’ though there are a good few people I’m sure who would gladly clap me around the ear for dubbing the place so. But I think of it as ‘New hope 2’ because that basically what it is.
A little History, (As far as I know it, again forgive me if you are better informed) The good folks at New Hope 1 felt a calling to go up north into the territory effected by the LRA or Lords Resistance Army. The core of New Hope being, ‘To bring the Father heart of God to the Fatherless’ there seems like no better place to set up another New Hope than in the middle of LRA effected areas. As far as I picked up over the week when the LRA came and distorted the lives of so may around the area, a bulk of the injured, orphaned, frightened and sometimes luckily escaped people fled to the town of Serotti, a stones throw away from Kumi and Kobwin. Aunty Jennie told us of how when the initial influx of displaced people was arriving, injured and lost in Serotti there were no organisations there at all and how a small team from New Hope had gone to do what they could. It was then, I think, that they got the vision that another home for these children was needed.
This home, however was going to take on different kinds of children for a different purpose other then just to educate. Some of these children will have been told by the LRA that if they ever escape they will find them and kill them. Many of the children will probably have been forced to do things no adult should ever do and even with the threat of death hanging over their heads had run away to places like Serotti. Therefore the site at Kumi would have to be specially designed to take in traumatised children and work through some intense issues. When I was asked if I wanted to join a team to go out and serve them, I didn’t think long about the answer
I was invited to join a team of ‘Investment year’ students. The investment year is, as most things I seem to write about these days, exactly what it sounds like. They spend a year invested in learning valuable skills in life, learning to drive, managing finances, setting up a business and going on work experience. They do the year after GCSEs and before A levels, because the year is meant to give the students a clear picture of what they want to do therefore enabling them to make a wiser choice about what to do for A levels and University. The week at Kumi was a kind of passing out retreat where they reflected on the year and did some service at Kumi as well.
I hope I have written enough background for the following to make sense, I have no idea how long this is going to be at the end but I would like to write up all we did because at the end of the week, I had had some amazing fun.

Day 1, Saturday. – Travelling.

No one told me when I was invited along on the trip that the journey would take 8 hours…but it did. 8 hours on British roads strikes me as extremely boring, where as in 8 hours on Ugandan roads your almost guaranteed to be scared to death, shaken to the point of your internal organs dancing around in reorganisation, orange in the face (your lucky if its only orange) and extremely soar in the back and bottom. It occurs to me that those who have never been lucky enough to experience African roads defiantly need an explanation.
To successfully drive on African roads you need to understand that its every man for himself. Apparently you drive on the left in Uganda, not that I’ve noticed. They say you can tell if someone is driving drunk because they drive in a straight line. The roads in Uganda are generally tarmac full of gapping foot wide, sometimes larger, holes. So the driver is required to dodge and weave all the way. If you find yourself on a road not blessed with tarmac that is two or more lanes wide there tends to be a kind of, ’through path’ etched into the road. In other words, driver after driver has picked out the safest way through the potholes leaving behind a wonderfully smooth but nonetheless one-car-wide road. Add to this the breakneck speed most drivers employ and you can quite often find yourself playing chicken with the oncoming cars, only swerving out of the way and into the potholes at the last moment. Fun. After 8 hours of this bumping and swerving, not to mention the constant stream of incoming orange dust through the windows, one can feel rather worn down upon arrival. But before I move on let me clarify one thing, that’s the way Uganda is, and I love it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, because it’s the little things like that that make life so much fun to live out here.
Anyway on the journey we were blessed with some chicken from an, “in your face chicken place.” As it is know in the New Hope circles. In your face chicken is the closest you will come to fast food out here. You stop your car in a lay-by and should a window be open it will soon be filled with all sorts of produce ranging from pineapples to drinks to chicken. We nearly always stop at the one on the way to Jinja and get some chicken. I always reflect as I eat the chicken on the sharp pointed stick, that for a chicken, born, raised, killed, plucked, skewered, cooked and finally sold all by the side of the road, it tastes amazing.
We arrived in Kobwin late, 9:00pm, though it felt like 4:00am. We clumsily found our beds, asking no questions, just getting on with it with the promise of sleep not far away. The boys were sleeping in a large round hut full of bunk beds, I found a bottom one, rigged my mossy net, hit the pillow and was out like a light.

Day 2, Sunday – Waking up in England.

When I awoke at 6:30, the agreed time though I don’t remember having a say in that conversation, I could hear the rain beating down on the roof of the hut. I had slept like a log, as well as logs are able to sleep, but none the less was feeling annoyed to be alive at this time of day. After a long and drawn out stump stirring session I heaved my sorry carcass out of bed, dressed and confronted the rain. When I looked outside I was a little confused. Where most mornings in Uganda I leave whatever dwelling I slept in the previous night to be greeted by a cool sun rising in the sky spilling light over plants and trees I don’t recognise and a warm breeze blowing away the cobwebs. When I emerged from the hut in Kobwin I was convinced I had come out in Devon. There was not a patch of blue in the sky, let alone any sign of the sun and there was a cold breeze, not unlike the ones that for some reason haunt campsites everywhere waiting to pounce on those foolish enough to leave the tent without a jumper. I hadn’t brought a jumper with me (“its Uganda for goodness sake, who needs a jumper!”) and the wind was cold. I also noticed some decidedly British plants. Wild mint was growing everywhere and I even spotted what looked like weeds I had regularly plucked from gardens in the UK. Along with the plants to my left rose a tall rock formation looking strangely like it would fit perfectly in Devon. I began to wonder how I had managed to get all the way back to England without my noticing (you would think you would remember such an event) when an African lady walked past and simply said, “Yoga”. Now either the woman decided I was horribly out of shape and was recommending a method of cleansing body and soul, or I was still in Africa, confronting the ever present language barrier. I decided the latter was more likely, and offered an extraordinarily lame, “Hi” in return.
Sunday passed without event, we met Uncle Alan and Aunty Honifa who are in charge of making sure New Hope 2 actually gets built, and were given a tour of the campus and the surrounding rocks. The plan is to build a centre that look very much like New Hope with a few changes. For one there are big rocks all over the land, something which they pointed out would help to make escaped kids feel safe. We went to bed early and once again did very impressive log impressions.

Day 3, Monday – Slashing

On Monday we got up again at 6:30 and went for a breakfast of dry tea with too many sugars and rolls. Once the typical Ugandan Breakfast was finished we set off for the work of the morning. The investment year students were each allocated a day to be leader on. The leader on that day would decide what work would be done and until when as well as being the go-to man for any questions. I was kindly given Friday to rule over, the day we go home. The leader for Monday, I cant for the life of me remember who it was, decided we needed to slash the compound today. For those not savvy with the terminology, the compound is like the garden area (in this case an area the size of a good football pitch and a half) and slashing is basically cutting the grass. Rough British translation, slashing the compound becomes mowing the lawn. Ironically enough more than once in that morning I craved a lawn mower to quickly zip over the grass leaving behind elegant and straight lines, but in the absence of a lawn mower the slashers were employed. At this point I think an explanation of slashing is in order.
A slasher is like a slightly shorted golf club but instead of a sturdy lump of metal on the bottom there is a double edged blade. The technique for slashing involves swinging this golf club look-alike back and forth as fast and hard as possible as close to a centimetre above the ground as possible. As with most things I have encountered out here when it comes to manual labour I am somewhat hopeless, whereas my African friends, due to a lifetime of practice, are sheers geniuses and things like slashing are second nature to them. When I tried slashing at first I managed to brush over the grass and not even come close to cutting it down. I decided some elbow grease was in order so set about attacking the grass as hard as I could. Within a few minuets I had beheaded plenty of grass but also managed to dig up a pretty handsome amount of earth as well. After an hour of so of slashing with various degrees of success I had an opportunity to switch tools. My new tool was, and would be for any self respecting male, like an extension of my very own arm.
The tool is called a Panga, but to save me yet another explanation it’s basically a large machete. Before long I had set upon the bush with this massive sharp knife hacking away at thorns and bushes the slashers couldn’t slash. It struck me then, sad as this is, how this was most guys ideas of paradise, “Here take this massive blade, and go and chop stuff to your hearts content.” And I did. Apparently I am much more proficient with a Panga then I am with a Slasher. I managed to chop down two sizable trees and plenty of bushes while really having the time of my life. By the end of the working morning we went for lunch having cleared most of the compound, an impressive achievement I wish I could take some credit for, with tired arms and a good collection of blisters between us.
As we ate lunch the sun made its presence known in a big way. Monday was my day to do the washing up so after lunch I went outside to wash up various dishes. Half an hour later the job was done and just to give you an idea of just how sunny it was, I had a sunburn on my neck.
That afternoon we gathered under a tree and as expected with 3 Muzungus it wasn’t long before we drew a crowd of children amazed to see some white flesh. That afternoon we did colouring sheets with the kids. No one in the area had ever done any colouring sheets so not only did we get masses of kids but also a large amount of parents sat down under the tree and coloured away with great joy.
By the end of the day we were all ready for bed and we all went straight to sleep, (I won’t mention logs again because I have a whole week to cover and the log references could become a little repetitive…)

Day 4 Tuesday – The news spreads.

On Tuesdays morning I woke up with aching hands covered in blisters due to the lengthy slashing and hacking session yesterday. Yet within an hour of waking up we were out there again slashing away with my technique improving somewhat since yesterdays poor show. I only lost my grip of the slasher once sending it flying in the general direction of my friend Lutu. Nothing to worry about, just a sharp object hurtling through the air and spinning towards my unsuspecting friend rather fast. It missed, just. Suffice to say I kept a tight grip on it after that. The sun was back again in force that morning and us white folk not used to such heat often found ourselves retreating to the shade of the trees and thanking the Lord for every slight wisp of a breeze.
In the afternoon it was clear that the children who came yesterday had informed their friends about the visiting Muzungus because on Tuesday we had nearly twice the number of children, by now coming close to about 300. The leader for that day decided we would play games with the kids today. We had a great time playing various running, throwing, kicking games with them one their favourites being ‘Muzungu Keep Away’. The game would begin with me kicking a mini rugby ball as far and high as I could at which point nearly every child assembled would the run after it, grab at it and if lucky enough to pick it up either run with it or kick it. The only aim of the game seemed to be keeping it away from me. With the odds stacked 250 kids to 1 me I was amazed that I ever managed to get the ball, at which point I would run like mad being followed all the way by enough kids to fill a small school each one faster than me.
When I went to bed on Tuesday it goes without saying that I was such a convincing log that the other occupants of the room were debating chopping me up, taking me outside and burning me. I slept well (apologies for yet another log reference but lets face it, it still works.)

Day 5, Wednesday – Monkeys

On Wednesday we started work on what Jenny described as something that will last, rather than slashing grass that will be back in a matter of weeks. We bought some Orange and ‘Nim’ trees and today was the day we set aside to plant them. Nim (or Nym, again didn’t stop to check the spelling though on reflection I probably should have done) trees I am told ward off mosquitoes and also have edible leaves. We were told to dig out some two foot by two foot holes for the oranges and after digging my fifth hole, and on top of the previous days labour, I was finally exhausted. I felt a little pathetic as I continued to chip away at them sixth hole until finally I called in a much needed sit down break.
After being joined by the others, also exhausted apparently, and after some porridge, we set back to work with the much more relaxing and far easier task of planting the trees. I made careful note of which tree was mine so if by any chance I return here in the future I can point proudly and say, “I planted that one!” to which my friends will ask, “which one”, “the tallest one with the greenest leaves and the most oranges of course!”
We spent the afternoon before the children came either sleeping or falling into heaps on the floor and trying to remember where we keep the spare batteries. It was when I was lying in one of these exhausted states of uselessness that I (well actually my friend Enoch) spotted Monkeys on the rocks. We watched them from a distance for a while before I decided that it was time to do what any self respecting muzungu would do in this situation, I went to get the camera. As I approached the rocks the monkeys ran away to the safety of the trees and I wonder how much of a fool’s errand this is going to be.
I apparently chose the wrong face of the rock to climb. We usually climbed up the rock by an easy slope that could be ascended easily but the monkeys were playing on a very steep and much harder slope to climb. Nonetheless, absolute hero that I am, I scaled the slope with my much worn down converse doing nothing in the way of helping me grip the slippery rock. The monkeys came running and jumping here and there but always heading away from me. After a few minuets of chasing and very far-away photos of monkeys they finally found safety on a large rock they were confident I wouldn’t be able to climb. I had to agree with them, the rock was huge, but I wasn’t telling them that. With the Monkeys feeling secure I inched closer to the rock, snapping the monkeys as I got closer. I stopped about 10 meters from the rock and took more photos of the curious faces peeping over the rock at me.
It was that curiosity that brought one particular monkey closer than the others. Very slowly he made his way down off the rock, sometimes retreating to see how I would respond. I stayed stock still, frozen with my camera inches from my face snapping away and loving every second. Finally when the furry little guy was within 5 meters of me he stopped and obviously wasn’t coming any closer. We spent a long moment just looking at each other it seemed to drag on forever. The monkeys were small, they had little grey bodies with white manes and black faces containing little red eyes. If they didn’t contain an all time top ten list of diseases you really really don’t want to get I might be tempted to describe them as cuddly…but having no wish to get rabies cuddling one of these is not something I would advise. Finally the monkey got bored of my and flew off into the rocks and trees never looking back. I made my way back off the rock the easy way this time and rejoined the group for another afternoon of mayhem with the kids.

Day 6 Thursday – Lake Sipi

Over the Previous days the team and I have noticed the Lake off in the distance and have longed to go and pay it a visit. We were sure it could only be a few kilometres away at best and though our hosts told us again and again it was just too far to walk we disagreed with them time and time again until Thursday when we decided to go to the lake by car, just in case it really was that far. It really was that far and I am grateful we took the car because it was extremely hot that day and walking that distance in that heat would have been a nightmare.
We reached the lake only to discover that the lake was surrounded by tall reeds that meant we now couldn’t even see the lake. The road for some reason didn’t end but instead transformed itself into a little river passage through the reeds with two rather questionable looking boats moored to the side. Of course the natural thing one does when one finds two boats by the side of the river with the owner nowhere in sight is to load up into them and cast off. This we did. The passage though the reeds opened up into the massive lake Sipi and we spent a good half an hour gliding over the surface and bailing out water from the leaky vessels. The owner of the other boats soon joined us bringing some of our friends with them. We didn’t seem annoyed we had taken his boats but a certain amount of money changed hands once back on dry land to further sweeten the deal.
That night being our last in Kumi we decided to have a bonfire and roast some meat. We went into the local village and bought goat and beef and roasted them over the fire until they turned black as charcoal and tasted not much better but it was fun to cook it none the less. The fire slowly died and drifted off to our beds only to wake up at 5:30 the next morning for the trip home

After our stupidly early start we arrived at Gerenge near Entebbe in good time and spent a weekend swimming in Lake Victoria playing games on the makeshift beach there. The weekend was to make the end of one investment year and the beginning of a new one with all the students along for the ride. After the weekend the clays and I spent three days in Jinja swimming in water not infested with bilharzias and eating food with a slightly more western slant.
I hope you are still awake at this point and I am sorry if at any point you fell asleep of contemplated suicide at the thought of reading that epic entry. I recommend you go and do something constructive now to make up for the hours spent sitting and reading this, but not before you leave a comment! With Christmas around the corner packages are arriving thick and fast (many thanks to all those sending them) and I’m forced to remind myself that despite the weather it is in fact now December.
Before I sign off I will finally add that I have reached the halfway point in my stay. So far it hasn’t been easy and there have been many moments when I have wanted to throw the towel in and give up. I want to thank all my friends and especially my family for supporting me through good and bad, one thing I have learnt over these past 3 months is the unquestionable value of family and the definite need for good friends. Take care
Dan

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A quick entry to keep the eager masses at bay.

Dear all
I am very sorry for how little i have written in the last month, i wish i could blame it on something as exciting as loosing my fist to a rabid monkey but unfortunately the reason for my un-called-for silence is simply a lack of power. I think that God, feeling my homesickness simply won't do, has decided to give me an extra special few weeks of rubbish weather to remind me of home. Ergo we have had no power for quite a while. I must also add a very quick sorry to say there will not be another entry for about two weeks, again nothin like plasic surgery to replace a missing fist due to monkey bite but rather i am going off into the middle of nowhere, for a very good reason, all of which i will document in a longer than normal entry in a few weeks time. In the mean time, take care and please watch out for monkeys
Dan